You have to act surprised when people tell you their secrets you already knew otherwise you risk exposing your sources.
When there ain’t a damn thing I wanna eat in the fridge but I just stare and stare… hoping that something appears
When your mom parks the car illegally then says “I’ll be back in 5 minutes”
I thought ordering my dog a birthday cake would be a waste of money… Her reaction was worth every penny.
When you get roasted in the chat but you remember their deepest secret
Do you ever start replying to a message, then pause and think “I don’t even have to explain myself” and delete everything
“Put on the shark blanket grandma made you. I want to send her a picture.”
The Mayans predicted LiL Wayne
This 3,000 year old Egyptian bust looks mildly like Michael Jackson